Or—
YES, THERE IS SUCH A
THING AS OVERSHARING
I had a friend who, in conversations with near strangers in
the space of one minute, would sashay into personal intimate details of her
life, which included details of her marital life that would have made her
husband cringe.
It was endearing in one way. Boy, she really trusts me
with this very personal information, you might think.
In another way, it was downright baffling, as in what is
she talking about? This was in no way part of our conversation, you may be thinking
next.
The faux intimacy turned out to be exactly that. It was a
way to try and induce similar intimate details from others. I eventually caught
on.
Not that she got that out of me. I choose how much to tell
based on my own sense, and my sense was that it was not right. But I value all
people and valued this friend for a hundred-and-one reasons even as I kept
cringing inwardly when I witnessed her act.
This goes double in writing. Anything you share about your
life should be the truth (or your truth as best you know it) but never the
whole truth because some self-protection (not to mention tact and a sense of
propriety) should always be part of the picture.
In an age where our leaders have lost some of that sense and
“breaking norms” is viewed as a badge of honor by some, it is even more
important to remember that norms are for the benefits of all, self and others.
THINK. Think well before you speak or write. Ask
yourself if sharing is beneficial on the whole, and only then go forth.
Wise living, it turns out, includes silence. If you must
speak of unspeakables, talk to your cat.
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