YOU DON’T NEED TO TELL EVERYONE EVERYTHING

 Or—

YES, THERE IS SUCH A THING AS OVERSHARING

 

I had a friend who, in conversations with near strangers in the space of one minute, would sashay into personal intimate details of her life, which included details of her marital life that would have made her husband cringe.

 

It was endearing in one way. Boy, she really trusts me with this very personal information, you might think.

In another way, it was downright baffling, as in what is she talking about? This was in no way part of our conversation, you may be thinking next.

 

The faux intimacy turned out to be exactly that. It was a way to try and induce similar intimate details from others. I eventually caught on.

 

Not that she got that out of me. I choose how much to tell based on my own sense, and my sense was that it was not right. But I value all people and valued this friend for a hundred and one reasons even as I kept cringing inwardly when I witnessed her act.

 

This goes double in writing. Anything you share about your life should be the truth (or your truth as best you know it) but never the whole truth because some self-protection (not to mention tact and a sense of propriety) should always be part of the picture.

 

In an age where our leaders have lost some of that sense and “breaking norms” is viewed as a badge of honor by some, it is even more important to remember that norms are for the benefits of all, self and others.

 

THINK.  Think well before you speak or write. Ask yourself if sharing is beneficial on the whole, and only then go forth.

Wise living, it turns out, includes silence. If you must speak of unspeakables, talk to your cat.

FOOD IN STORIES and IN LIFE

 

“Bread is the staff of life.” This English idiom, coined in the 17^th century, continues to haunt writers of fiction.

 

No one would argue that food is unimportant, but how much to insert or include in fictional stories is another matter. Another post on this can be read here.

 

Way back, when a friend read my novel THE VOICE OF THUNDER, she commented that she wished there were more references to food, “because I like that.” This same friend had an expensive subscription to a newspaper “just for the recipes,” so I counted this as her peculiarity.

 

But something of her comment stayed with me, and when I write anything longer than a picture book text (and occasionally even then) I include vivid descriptions of meals and characters’ experience of food.

 

Somewhere, this comment from long ago just landed right. I honestly think it improves characterization, or at the very least belongs as part of such.

 

Are we what we eat? I don’t go there. I eat what there is when offered, and sometimes it is decidedly not “me.” Even when I choose, there are plenty of questionable choices I refuse to think of as fundamentally “me.”

 

But the food experience for humans is more than just sustenance. It belongs to the auxiliary aspects of our being in the choices (when we have them, which for most Americans is often) ways of presentation (aesthetic sensibilities) and religious or philosophical orientations.

 

Food offerings, whether fancy or few, belong in stories, period.

RHYMING ZONE

 

There is a truth universally acknowledged that a picture book writer in pursuit of le mot juste, must not make it a rhyming one.

Picture books, the ones conceived for the youngest listeners who adore rhyme. Imagine that.

The reasons agents and editors give is that most of us think we can rhyme well, but most of us can’t. Add to that are commercial considerations with a long view to foreign languages editions. Translating rhyming texts is even harder than rhyming well in the original language.

All true. But still.

Rhyme has charm. Rhyme has beat. Rhyme tickles and tingles the bottom of feet.

Gotta get up. Gotta dance. Love to rhyme?

Take a chance.

So, as I just demonstrated, it is hard to do well.

But if you must, then do. Take a chance. Some texts just beg for it.

Oh, No. Not about them* RULES, Again

 

*Yup, I know the extra ‘m’ is not grammatical. I’m making a point

 

Some months ago in a writerly Facebook group, someone lamented at her discovery while editing her own work. “Turns out,” she wrote, “I’m a fan of passive writing and telling not showing.” 😰

While I’m paraphrasing and also omitting some of her original pulling-one’s-own-hair in-shame post, I will quote my response post in full because I don’t need my own permission to quote me:

 

“Passive construction and telling have their place. Just make sure they don't sit and stay where they are not serving their purpose. Passive is what you use when you want to fuzzy something and cover with fog. (Someone *was killed,* no idea by whom.)

Telling is an economical way to get through parts so the showing parts get to shine by contrast.”

 

The first writerly mistake is not knowing the rules and why they’re there. The second is to treat writing advice as absolute. 

You can quote me on it. 👆

 

Getting off the preacher’s pedestal now.