EVELYN CHRISTENSEN

July 9, 1949- October 14, 2026

I could write about Ev's many achievements and the glowing path of grace she has paved on this earth. But the Ev I knew would not have wanted that. She was, above all, a modest person who blushed and changed the subject when praised.

{Her family's obituary for her is linked here and speaks of imprint on many.}

Instead, I will write about what our friendship had meant and will continue to mean to me.

Ev came into my life during a very challenging stretch where I couldn’t see the road ahead clearly. She first reached out to me with a single sentence, “Sharing your journey, Mirka.” We both had a parent in a nursing home with dementia, and I had done what I never had before: ask for advice on a children’s writers’ chat board where we were both members.

From that moment, we walked hand in hand. The load got lighter, as the road got less bumpy. Long after Ev’s father left this world, and my mother followed a year later, we shared the joys of family, small triumphs and many challenges, and there was not a day when I didn’t wonder how I got such a gift of a true friend which I in no way had earned.

Now I am left with Ev’s many notes, meticulously written in the most beautiful handwriting, telling me she was the lucky one to have me in her life, when all along I knew it was the other way around. I thank God for Ev, the truest friend in need and in deed.

We met in person only once, when Ev and Ralph travelled to Oberlin, Ohio, while I was there to chaperone my daughter in an international piano competition. I cherish this photo of Ev and myself “making music” on keys painted on the street. Now she is singing with the angels, while I am left behind to pound the hard pavement.

ODDITIES of HISTORY

 

In this case…

One OCTOBER 20^th LONG AGO…

 

If you have read my blog in the past, you know I like to mull over “this date in history.”

Especially on less than well remembered items, such as the one I stumbled on today.

 

On October 20, 1774, the First Continental Congress adopted the Continental Association, a sweeping agreement that instituted a trade boycott with Great Britain. To promote wartime frugality and unity, Clause 8 mandated the discouragement of all "expensive diversions and entertainments," specifically targeting theater, horse racing, gaming, and cockfighting.

 

Well then, how’s about them apples.

 

Known as The Act for Discouragement of Entertainment, the act specifically banned:

   Horse racing

  Gaming and gambling

  Cockfighting

  Exhibitions of shows and theatrical plays

  Lavish funeral practices (e.g., buying expensive mourning clothes, scarves, and gloves)

I suppose today it would include all sorts of digital consumption products and a few more merriment-making activities.

 

Governments, even the sort that proclaimed their goals to limit the governmental imposition on individuals, (such as fueled part of the American Revolution), can betray these goals at the drop of a hat.

 

It is noted that, despite the ban, theatrical performances and recreational events occasionally continued in secret during the Revolutionary War. Most famously, George Washington ignored the ban in 1778 and staged a production of the play Cato at Valley Forge to entertain and inspire his officers.

 

On this October 20^th, I hope you find joy and perhaps some entertainment in this post.

William Hogarth etching The Laughing Audience (1733) depicts eighteenth-century theater scene

“DO YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY, OR DO YOU WANT TO BE RIGHT?”

 or---

DO YOU WANT TO BE RIGHT, OR DO YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY?

Lest you suggest the title and subtitle of this post are the same thing, I would say that the order reversal makes the emphasis slightly and subtly different.

 

But here I go, making the point. Choosing an argument over calm waters.

 

My late father, a wise person, once told me that sometimes you let people lie to you, or mislead you, rather than correct their factoids. So many things are of lesser consequence.

This is not about different points of view. This post is not about personal arrogance or pride preventing us from accepting there’s more than one way to a better result. To me, a different point of view is interesting and always worth considering.

 

This is about someone deliberately and knowingly misleading and twisting facts.

 

And you know what? Sometimes, I just let them.

 

Because peace and friendliness are also of high value to me, and so in lesser matters I will strive to be happy, not right.

 

In my late father’s case, when an old friend began telling a group of their friends about a famous battle he had soldiered in (and my father knew this old friend had never been anywhere near that battle) my father thwarted the itch to correct this friend publicly. Later, when he considered making this correction privately, he decided against it.

 

I should strive to do the same more often.

IN ORDER TO FALL ASLEEP, YOU PRETEND TO FALL ASLEEP

 

😉PERHAPS THAT’S THE WAY EVERYTHING WORKS😜

Another in the vein of “fake it till you make it.” Yup.

 

But here’s the kicker—

It actually works.

I don’t know about other “fake it” situations but pretending to fall asleep works almost every time.

Ditto for pretending to be happier than you are. It worked for me countless times. It didn’t result in delirious joy, just a notable improvement on the scale of being okay.

 

The “fake it” as it relates to “make it” is often urged when it comes to dealing with the material world and professional success. I am not one of the crowned uber super-duper people, so I wouldn’t know.

 

But this I do know: Applying the “pretend” to dealing with self alone, as in “between me and myself,” is effective. It’s good advice and deserves at least a try.

 

Try telling yourself you are this or that something, and you will be a bit more of this and that. Be careful with self-admonition, because it works in the reverse also. So, if falling asleep feels elusive and you tell yourself you are never going to, guess what. 😶

 

🥱 SWEET DREAMS😴