WHO’S AN EXPERT?

 

In a world where complexity in all matters is the norm, we turn to experts to navigate what’s what.

 

But who are the experts?

 

To paraphrase Mark Twain, there are experts, “experts”, and know-little braggarts.

 

How are we to tell who’s who?

 

For that, Virginia, we need experts.

 

They are everywhere.

 

Over the interwebs, under the radar, over the airwaves, and under the table.

 

If almost everyone’s an expert, then hardly anyone is.

 

Which sends us back full circle and on an endless Möbius loop.

 

Go, figure. Better yet, know you’re unlikely to.

 

Me: an expert at diagnosing confusion.

THE PARADE THAT WASN’T

 

In Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird (an alternate sort of Bible for writers) there is a poignant chapter on the bloated expectations authors have for “Publication Day.” [See page 208, “Publication”]

 

Publication day is a date set by traditional publishers, after which the book will be available in stores or for order online. It’s the TAH-DAH!!! Day and your book’s birthday and let’s have a party day, drum-roll, ready-set-go-- horns blowing and pop out of a cake: your book is out in the world. 🎆

 

As Ms. Lamott tells it, it is nothing of the above.  99.9% of published writers know she’s spot on.

 

On any given year, all the parades and woopteedoo are for ten or twenty titles in the whole country. These are from the uber commercially successful authors or debuts that somehow hit the nerve-de-jour, usually for political reasons. Fine fiction writers should know that publication day is meaningful to one person only, themselves.

 

You can give your book a launching party, and it will be attended mostly by supportive friends. You can do a blog tour exchanging favors with other author friends, and their readers will note your book was born. It’s fine, because it means something to you.

 

But no parade. Nope, not even a small one. The hard work of letting people you never met become aware your story is available has just. barely. begun.

 

A good glimpse into the realistic experience of almost all authors and what we can, in fact, do on publication day— is in this post.

 

I’d add that doing a private dance in front of the mirror is highly recommended, also.

🎈🎈🎈

APRIL 9TH IN HISTORY

 

Lee Surrenders

“It would be useless and therefore cruel,” Robert E. Lee remarked on the morning of April 9, 1865, “to provoke the further effusion of blood, and I have arranged to meet with General Grant with a view to surrender.”

 

The two generals met shortly after noon on April 9, 1865, at the home of Wilmer McLean in the village of Appomattox Court House, Virginia. Lee’s surrender of the Army of Northern Virginia to Ulysses S. Grant, general-in-chief of all United States forces, hastened the conclusion of the Civil War.

 

Regardless of which side of history you side with in any specific conflict, it is something to celebrate when men of war call it quits in order to save lives.

 

I’m commemorating April the 9^th today, with the hope that all who rejoice in raising arms will consider how much greater the alternative is.

SHARING FIVE TAKEAWAYS from a Webinar

 

A few months have passed since I attended a so-called “closed” webinar with a senior editor in one of the big-five publishing houses, and so I feel no shame in sharing the main takeaways for all who are knocking on publishers’ doors.

 

This sort of insider’s view should not be a secret. There are many misconceptions floating on the interwebs, and writers (who the editor remined us— are the bedrock of publishing) have it hard enough already.

 

Takeaway #1

For the big-five and their imprints, you need an agent. We knew this, but it was emphasized as in no real exceptions, period. Forget about special openings or contests.

This ties to the last takeaway, but bear with me.

 

Takeaway #2

For debut fiction*, whether kidlit or adult, your web-presence is not a consideration for acquisitions. Someone asked about the number of Facebook friends and the editor said that “Facebook isn’t a thing anymore.” Nor are any of the other digital town squares. Just make sure you haven’t made hordes of zany cuckoo comments, which if you’re agented is likely not an issue. (Agents weed for this before taking writers on.)

*Non-fiction is a different story

 

Takeaway #3

Yes, it is harder now to get traditionally published. It was never easy and it’s been hard forever. But since the pandemic closures it’s harder, as in much harder. If you had the fortitude to plow forward before, you must double down now. It’s the same trek only steeper.

 

Takeaway #4

The theme, plot, pace--- all must quicken the reading editor’s heart. But none of those matter as much as the quality of the prose. If the writing voice doesn’t “pop,” the big-five editor just moves on to the next submission to be rejected.

 

Takeaway #5

Who your agent is matters a whole lot. Editors remember agents who have sent them “yawners” and “un-sparkling” submissions before. They remember agents they didn’t like dealing with. Worse, they are aware of the bestselling writers the agent also represents or if they don’t have any A-list writers as clients. There is a definite hierarchy in consideration of submissions depending on the agent’s standing.

 

This last takeaway may be the hardest insider’s view to hear.  

 

All that said, I will focus on the only thing in my control: write better.