Tuesday, July 14, 2020

Let’s FACE It


Warning: this is on the gruffly side 😖


In the last year, I’ve gotten many Facebook friend requests where the person requesting chose not to put a photo of their FACE on their profile.


Yes, if I know you in real life and I’m sure it’s you, I’ve accepted. But the vast majority (like 95%) are people I’ve never met. If we have very few FACEbook friends in common, I assume this is a fake profile or some sort of spam. But most show that we have hundreds of friends in common.

This would indicate they are part of the kidlit publishing community, as most of my FACEbook friends are.


Some have chosen to put a photo pf their dog or pet ferret as their profile picture. For a banner, they put a lovely sunrise or field of wildflowers.


I mean, seriously?


I know we’re spooked by the use of our photo for nefarious purposes. I think that if this disturbs you greatly, maybe FACEbook is not the place you want to be to begin with. If you suffer from social anxiety and you fear your appearance will be judged, maybe this is not a good venue for you. Whatever the reason, why are you approaching people who don’t know you in real life with such?


I don’t accept such requests. I’m a basically shy person, so I understand the impulse to hide. But get over it if you choose FACEbook to engage with strangers.

Of all things, this^ is the banner of a site that offers to help you create a “memorably beautiful Facebook timeline.” Honestly, I’d pass.


Let’s FACE it and put a FACE on it. It isn’t your dog or a pretty postcard who’s asking to be connected.


11 comments:

We are: Clamco said...

Totally agree!

Barbara Etlin said...

You're right, and this is one of the many reasons I've never been tempted to join Facebook.

Mirka Breen said...

Not every site is for everybody, Barb. I'm still not at home on Twitter. I have certainly tried my best to dip my toes in the waters of many virtual places, but haven't found all of them hospitable for me.

Vijaya said...

I, too, love seeing faces. Though I don't mind pictures of pets or books. But faces rule!

Jenni said...

I'm one of those ones who just have flowers. :) You're absolutely right though. I notice that my husband gets more friend requests than I do--because people actually know it's him. Facebook is not my favorite place, so I guess flowers makes me feel like I can keep the drama there at arm's length. But I've been toying with changing back to my face, especially as I'm not able to see all my usual friends and aquaintances face to face right now.

Debbie Vilardi said...

You're right to be wary of scams too. I got a "friend" request today from someone I knew had died earlier in the year. It was very creepy.

Mirka Breen said...

Yikes, Debbie :0

Kelly Hashway said...

I've been avoiding Facebook as much as possible over the past few months. I go there to post, but that's it. I hate the environment it's become. And I think it's become that way because people like this are hiding behind images that aren't them. They are distancing themselves so they feel comfortable saying hurtful things without repercussions. I just don't want that in my life because that's not who I am.

Mirka Breen said...

Toxicity runs in the veins of all social media, and Facebook is the biggest of them with lots of crevices to hide and shoot. I haven't found Twitter any less toxic, (maybe more) and let's not start on Reddit, where hiding behind a "handle" (not a name or a face) is the norm. I limit my use to the healthier aspects: personal messages with people I know well, looking a the lovely art of illustrators, enjoying family photos of friends and acquaintances, and most of all-- writerly groups.
But for me a face, your REAL FACE, is a must for Facebook.

Evelyn said...

I agree. I like pictures of people. My profile pic is me and my banner is a pic of my husband and me. But recently when FB changed their layout, suddenly my profile pic was in the middle of the page (instead of on the left) and blocking the pic of hubbie and me. I managed to switch back to FB's original layout, but now I'm wondering if most other people have the new layout with my messed up banner. If they do, I can't figure out to have a banner pic that will work well for both formats.

Mirka Breen said...

Yours looks right on my end, Ev. Like me, you stayed with your profile photo to the left side :)