CUT THE HARSH TALK TO SELF

 

The other day, I stopped, listened, and for the first time really heard— the harsh way I was talking to myself.

 

Me: “What a dumb thing to do, you!”

Self: “Really stupid. Don’t do that again.”

Me: “Only an idiot like you could do this.”

Self: “A moron. That’s what you are.”

 

What occurred to me right then was that what I should not do again was talk to self this way.

 

Old habits die hard. New habits, such as paying attention to self-flagellation, take time and resolve to stick and stay. So, the first order of business was to pay attention and Not. Do. This.

 

There’s an extra bonus to my new resolve. I find the harsh observations of others have softened and rounded also.

 

Kindness is contagious. Start with you.

INSTEAD OF TRYING HARDER…

 

…TRY SOFTER

 

I’ve been contemplating this bit of advice, seemingly more a play on an idiom than wise, when out of the cloudy sky it came to me.

 

Trying softer. Yes, that.

 

After a mistake or mishap, maybe instead of doubling down, consider gentleness on the next move. Consider a redo more carefully planned.

 

After getting a NO, consider letting it sink, but slowly, instead of throwing an inner tantrum. Then, proceed with caution and consideration of what just happened.

 

After getting stonewalled, instead of bashing my head against the wall— consider resting next to the wall and catching my breath.

Gentleness with self diffuses into gentleness with others and a wind that transforms into a soft breeze.

 

{A soft hug}

©Art by Maya Golek Apter. Dreaming dog is Brandi Apter