*What’s
not to like?
Someone asked me yesterday
how I feel about being criticized.
Simple: I don’t like it,
but I’m not against it. 😰
The question came in the
passive construction, deliberately obscuring the action’s source. This forced a
vague answer.
Because (and this is key)
it depends on WHO is doing the criticizing.
After the initial sting, I
think I usually can tell if this person is coming from a helpful place, and let
me tell you— it matters. A lot.
When suggestions for
improvement come from a loving unselfish place, they are golden. Don’t get me
wrong. No Pollyanna, I. It never feels good in the immediate aftermath. Never.
But some time after, as
soon as a few hours, these offerings are gifts.
One thing that distinguishes
the loving criticisms are if they are something one can change. This is
pivotal.
If words point to unchangeable
things, they are not well meant. Forget about 'em as soon as you can. Toss ’em to
the wastepaper basket at the edge of the universe. Go on, act it out. Print
those words, crumble the paper, and give it your best basketball throw into the
garbage.
But the actionable ones
coming from someone who is a fan/friend/faithful family— count these as fabulous. Because your “F” today is a chance at an A+ tomorrow.
