Tuesday, November 29, 2022

HOW TO DEAL WITH LIFE’S “NO”S

 

Life’s journey is full of rejections.


For writers and artists, the turn-downs are magnified. Some wonder why we put ourselves in this position, and how we deal with it.

I have come to a point where I discovered that there is no “dealing with it.” There is brushing it off, as if it never happened, and marching forward.

 

What does that mean?

 

For me, it means that unless there is constructive feedback, which allows for improvement, (thank you, those who offered such) the only way to continue to be creative is to act as if those “no”s never happened.

I don’t count them, I don’t put a numerical bar of no-passing, I don’t let them sink in.

 I. Just. Don’t.

 

This denial is essential. I would not be a published writer had I not had this strategy going way back.

 

And if at any point it is time to rest a work from Submission Road, never think of it as permanent. Rest stops are not only for truckers.

 

Keep trucking.


6 comments:

Barbara Etlin said...

I just posted this on Twitter in reply to someone who had received two rejections right after giving herself a pep talk about retaining a positive outlook.

Years ago, when I was submitting manuscripts by snail mail, I received two of my SASEs on the same day. One was the expected publisher's rejection. The other was a copy of my manuscript which I had sent to an expert to vet. It contained useful comments, a great potential blurb, and the news that Kentucky librarians were eager to see my novel in their libraries!

Timing is everything. The second letter completely offset the rejection.

Vijaya said...

Wonderful strategy, Mirka. I still remember the day I got 4 rejections (for 4 different magazine stories). Ouch! The next day, the stories went out. And eventually published. Good luck as you enter queryland.

Sue said...

Oh, yeah. I do know how many rejections I've had on one novel. Not giving up until at least 100. But, I have to brush them off as well.

Sometimes the waiting is the hardest part. I have a manuscript where an agent requested the first 25 and the last 25 pages of a different novel. No response yet. Sigh.

Meanwhile, I'm moving forward on writing another novel.

Evelyn said...

You have a great attitude, Mirka. I'm pulling for you as you continue your submissions.

Elizabeth Varadan, Author said...

Nice post. Years ago I read Natalie Goldberg's Writing Down the Bones, and always loved her advice to treat rejection and criticism as so much laundry "flapping in the wind."

MirkaK said...

Rejection, like acceptance, is part of life. Easier to talk about it than to experience it. We don't have control over how someone else perceives our creative work. I remember hearing that sales people are told you have to make X number of pitches to get one sale. For some writers, it's a hundred plus rejection slips and then finally your ms. lands in the hands of the agent or editor who wants it. But we never know ahead of time who that's going to be, so we have to deal with rejection. I know it's hard not to take it personally, but it isn't something personal. It's getting to the right person at the right time. Good luck!