HOPE SPRINGS ETERNAL
ITS LEAVES FALLING
ON THE PATH
TO A MORE PEACEFUL
MERCIFUL
FUTURE
HOPE SPRINGS ETERNAL
ITS LEAVES FALLING
ON THE PATH
TO A MORE PEACEFUL
MERCIFUL
FUTURE
This morning, I am thinking about polls. Not “the Poles,”
who are the people of Poland, but these pesky things asking for our opinion.
I have just gotten yet another of these spam emails asking
me to answer a survey, a.k.a. pole, on what I think of this, that, and the other.
I labeled it SPAM and onto the great ethernet it went unanswered.
Unless you have turned off and unchecked all information in
the last few decades, you’d know that opinion polls have become unreliable as
far as election results are concerned. My sense is that they were never
reliable as far as anything and everything is concerned. The so-called
“science” of polling just isn’t scientific.
We’ve heard the analysis and excuses that go something like
this:
Polls are conducted via landlines, and people with landlines
no longer reflect the population.
People lie because some answers are deemed “uncouth.”
The pollsters asked the question in the wrong way, either
ineptly or deliberately.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. All the above. But there’s the uglier
reality that most polls are bought and paid for by interested parties and are
meant to be used not as information but for persuasion.
Why is this “ugly” you might ask?
Because the underlying reality of our species is that most
of the time most of us go with the majority opinion. If most people think thus,
barring any true knowledge to the contrary, we go with what most think.
Herd mentality is part of most species. Ours is no
exception. Individuals lack expertise regarding most public matters. How many
of my friends have the expertise in climatology or energy science or economics?
Yet they seem to hold strong convictions on climate change, nuclear energy, and
the best way to do the most good for most people.
How did we come to our convictions?
We went with what most people say.
How did we know what most people say?
We listened to the polls.
How did the polls know?
Because we told them.
It gets worse: we penalize individuals who think for
themselves. It’s safer in a group, and those who are not joiners are a threat.
So, yes, I’m thinking about polls. I’m a conventional
person, not a rebel or a prophet. But I don’t answer polls anymore and I pay
little attention to media when they insist on quoting approval polls or polls
that measure beliefs.
When faced with a seemingly unresolvable
ethical dilemma, I resort to The Golden Rule.
Most know the New Testament version:
"So in
everything, do to others what you would have them do to you".
(Matthew 7:12 and
Luke 6:31)
But there is
another version, as worded by Rabbi Hillel in the Talmud:
“What is hateful
to you, do not do to your fellow.”
As the Talmudic story goes, A
non-Jew approached Hillel, asking to be taught the entire Torah while standing
on one foot. Hillel responded with the Golden Rule, and added, “the rest is
commentary. Now go study.”
Between these two versions, I
prefer Hillel’s. There are many things I would like “done to me” that others wouldn’t
like done to them. People are different that way, and vive la diffΓ©rence.
I find I prefer the approach through negation. It comes closer to respecting others.
But even here, there are those
things you would hate that others don’t. In other words, the Golden Rule is
still golden, but the duty to use discernment is never discharged.
I was faced with such a dilemma only
the other day. The Golden Rule helped me take the harder route. Did I choose
right? I can’t make this claim. But I stand by the way I went about trying.
…TRY SOFTER
I’ve been contemplating this bit of advice, seemingly more a
play on an idiom than wise, when out of the cloudy sky it came to me.
Trying softer. Yes, that.
After a mistake or mishap, maybe instead of doubling down, consider gentleness on the next move. Consider a redo more carefully planned.
After getting a NO, consider letting it sink, but slowly,
instead of throwing an inner tantrum. Then, proceed with caution and
consideration of what just happened.
After getting stonewalled, instead of bashing my head against
the wall— consider resting next to the wall and catching my breath.
Gentleness with self diffuses into gentleness with others
and a wind that transforms into a soft breeze.
{A soft hug}
©Art by Maya Golek Apter.
Dreaming dog is Brandi Apter