I’ve heard the saying, “Love shows
up.”
I’m going to lower the bar here
and not address love, but just elemental decency between people.
Some time ago, our hot water
heater broke. In the dead of winter, we only had cold water until this could be
remedied, which took a few days. I, in need of a shower, asked the next-door
neighbor if it would be possible to shower at their house. Neighbor said, “Sure.”
A few hours later, I called to ask
if it was convenient right then. Next-door neighbor got the message (message
apps tell you this) and read it (message apps tell you that, also) and then, to
be sure it wasn’t a single miscommunication I sent a text on another app we had
communicated on as well when neighbor needed something from us.
And…
I was ghosted. Not a “not right
now,” or “I’m not home,” (neighbor was home, as they are next door, so we can
see them) or even “my shower is in bad shape,” though next-door neighbor has at
least two full bathrooms.
I thought about the countless
times this neighbor has asked us for help, assistance, tools to borrow, jobs neighbor
had difficulty with and more. A hundred times would be an underestimate. We
always helped promptly. It’s not that we are exceptionally good people, we just
practice being decent. Until then, we had never asked Neighbor for anything.
I was ghosted by a neighbor whom I
can plainly see from my window. To this day, not a mention of this, and I’m not
bringing it up. Neighbor has shown what sort of neighbor and human they are.
I thought about another friend from
long ago who opted to ghost, then showed up years later as if nothing had happened.
I think basic decency itself
should propel anyone not to do this. Any reply, even one that says “I need
space” or “I’m sorry but I’m in a funk” or “this isn’t working for me”---
ANYTHING, while not a happy response and requires a version of showing up, is
more decent.
Time passed, and I remained polite
with Neighbor. When next neighbor asked for something, I said, “Yes,” and did
it. But my smile is gone.
Show
up, people. Show up. Don’t leave anybody in your life high and dry.
