MANAGING DIFFERENCES as a GOAL, FOR LIFE and in STORIES

 

One of my foundational values is getting along with people.

It’s not much of an obstacle when others think like me. It’s only a challenge when we have differences. The deeper these are the steeper the mountain to climb.

But that’s when it matters most.

 

Living as individuals in society presents this challenge every moment, unless you have made a point to wall off all but the most simpatico folks. I wasn’t raised to do that, because, to both my parents, interacting only with the like-minded makes for a dull life.

 

I find that it takes three main values to live fully and remain close to people who think differently. First, one needs to be flexible. Second, one needs to be curious about possibilities that hadn’t already occurred, and third (perhaps the most important) one needs to practice genuine humility.

All will amount to a commitment to be happy, not “right.”

 

There is a tendency in literature, most obvious in literature for young readers, to not only present conflict between differing points of view but to end by settling them with one side showing what is ultimately “right.” 

Today, we are told not to be preachy. But we must choose sides in more subtle ways.

The problem is that it doesn’t illuminate how to navigate differences, unless the stories are about acceptance. Acceptance of one’s personal situation, of one’s environment, and of what may come. This begins with self-acceptance, and these are the stories I strive to write.

It’s not “a win,” but it’s about the triumph of seeing conflict as something not to win, but to diffuse.