The writing life is not the bleeding agony of the artist against
the world. There is a strain in literature (and now in virtual reality) of commiseration
at endless rejection, inner despair and desperation. That’s a romantic notion
and, lets be honest, it is also what all writers experience at times.
But the reality, without a nod to Pollyanna, is that it
is a privileged life. I get to do what I love, and think about how to do it and
how to do it better. For homework, I get to read the best ever written. For
more homework, I get to talk with others who are doing the same. So even
without the struggles to publication, the very act of writing regularly is a
blessing and a gift to me.
The angst comes mostly from rejection or feedback that
reminds me I failed to reach someone the way I hoped.
But even on that front, the one that has to do with readers
and feedback from industry professionals, I can vividly recall the blessed
days. The first time I got an encouraging R & R from an editor I didn’t know
and a fruitful association ensued, or the day I got my first acceptance from a
small publisher.
And then there was the day my editor emailed that the
illustrator had signed and was officially the one for my picture book. This
editor included me in the process of selecting the artist, and I really hoped this particular illustrator
would agree. I remember driving to get my kids from school just moments after
getting the Email, and the road was singing.
And then there came the day when I got my first offer of
representation. It was followed immediately by another (I chose the first) and
little ol’ me was in the rejecter’s seat. A few months ago I went through the process again, this time having to turn down two offers that followed the first. (I accepted the first one, once more.) I didn’t love being in the seat of the one saying, "thanks but no thanks," and
realized it was not fun for others, either. Publishing professionals instantly turned
from the antagonists I feared they were into my collegial community.
And then... Yup. More
days like these. But all the while the writing itself remained the real thing.
Always. Days when the words unfurled like a hallway carpet unrolled to reveal a
gorgeous tapestry, making the hard ground under my feet feel soft and caring.
The real deal.