From the Mouth of Babes, Again

A conversation I overheard at the children’s books’ section of my favorite neighborhood bookstore, yesterday afternoon—

 

Kid: “This is not a good book.”

Mom: “Why? The writer is very well known.”

Kid: “The story has a happy ending and the good guys win.”

Mom: “That’s a good story, (kid’s name). Don’t you like happy endings?”

Kid: “The bad guys were so much stronger the whole time and they should have won.”

Mom: “In stories good wins over evil.”

 

Kid: “In some stories I don’t mind. But there was no way in this one.”

In all my years of reading eloquent reviews and how-to books on what kids like and expect, I have never heard it expressed better.

 

Now that I think of it, my two favorite stories from second grade were The Little Prince and The Little Match girl. Sad endings and no fixes for the imperfections of this world. And yes, I got it, and read and re-read these for years.

Summer Reader

©By Shelagh Duffett

 

 

A reminder to self: don’t write happy endings that are just tacked on. Don’t underestimate your readers, no matter what anyone else says about “kids won’t get that.”

 

 

Cold Got You Down? Get Some Whiskers!

The Love Holiday just passed, and if you did it right you kissed a lot of people. This could mean you are now laying low and lying down, felled by an old fashioned cold.

It is imperative to have good comforting company to look onto occasionally.

A good pair of slippers. These were a gift from DS, called Freudian Slippers. The label says they were made by The Unemployed Philosophers’ Guild.

And a good book to read~

 With someone to read it to you~

© LOVE makes the world go around ©

Let’s consider these famous quotations about LOVE

St. Valentine’s Day, with the heart-shaped chocolates and musings about love, is shortly upon us.

 

Years back, DS asked me why almost all the popular songs are about love. I answered that love is, well, popular. The accoutrements and trimming attached to love have always been popular. Speaking about love is a perennially popular topic, and singing about it is “the popularest.”

 

This got me thinking about famous quotations from venerable sources that, when you stop to think, don’t quite hold water. Don’t get me wrong, they all contain some truth. But in the main they come short.

 

“Love means never having to say you’re sorry.”

 

Erich Segal

Really? Me no likey this one.

 

“Love isn’t something you find. Love is something that finds you.”

 Loretta Young

Very nice Loretta, but it ain’t so, darlin’.

 

“Let us always meet each other with a smile, for the smile is the beginning of love.”

 Mother Teresa

Oh, brother! I mean, oh, mother—sometimes yes and mostly no.

 

“Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.”

 Aristotle

And I thought Aristotle was the earthbound thinker. Really, Ari.

So while all of these are nice enough, though sorely lacking, I find this last one, not as pithy or as poetic, to be much more satisfying:

 

“Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.”

Ann Landers

~~~

 

My sixpence-worth is that Love is a mystery. Just like life, and all of creation.

Keep singing, and send chocolates. That part is all good.

Getting the Voice (age) Right

When writing for younger readers, feedback from beta readers, agents and editors may include comments such as these:

“The voice reads too young for the MC age.”

“The voice sounds too adult.”

“The voice sometimes sounds too young.”

“The voice weaves between the appropriate age and that of an adult.”

“While the voice is spot-on for the age, I didn’t care for it.”

“Whatever else you change, do not revise the voice. It’s terrific.”

“The voice is stilted and unnatural.”

“The voice has a natural flow that kids will relate to.”

One of my novels got all of the above before it was published. Yup, since I have only one published to date, it’s not a mystery which book it is.

 

What to do? When personal feedback shows no consistency and is even directly contradictory, I think of it as honest, well intentioned, but subjective. There is nothing I have to do, because if I were to take it to heart I would get an incoherent stew as I attempt to revise.

 

Here is when feedback makes me spring to action:

*When it instantly resonates

**When it repeats from different readers

Getting the voice to hit the right note of authenticity for the age is a challenge those who write for their own age do not have to worry about. Getting feedback from younger readers is also good, but keep in mind— each is still an individual.

 We who write for children must keep the reader’s age in front of us always.

Groundhog Day

If ground-hog day was bright and fair,
The beast came forth, but not to stay;
His shadow turned him to his lair,
Where six weeks more, he dormant lay
Secure in subterranean hold—
So wondrous weatherwise was he—
Against six weeks of ice and cold,
Which, very certain, there would be...

~H.L. Fisher, "Popular Superstitions," Olden Times: or, Pennsylvania Rural Life, Some Fifty Years Ago, and Other Poems, 1888

Well, then— it’s today, and it’s all right if we missed it. GROUNDHOG DAY is for many young’uns an excellent Bill Murry movie, played over and over since its release in 1993. But the odd Farmer’s Almanac-like   custom is much older, and not less bizarre when analyzed. Does the groundhog see its shadow? Six more weeks of winter? Heh?

I think of it this way— the weather is uncontrollable. We want control. Give us some grounding from where we will navigate.

But I like to leave this post with a much more spunky quotation that should take us through the next six/eight/ten/please no more weeks:

“It's a holiday entirely based on the power of a psychic rodent. If that isn't the epitome of awesome, I don't know what is.”

~Flying LlamaFish, "7 Reasons Groundhog Day is the Ultimate Holiday," 2010, PunIntended.com

Constructive Feedback

Ever been asked to give feedback to an essay, a story, or a novel-in-making?

I bet the answer is yes, many times yes, whether you’re a teacher, a parent, a writer, or someone who knows someone applying for something. Bet you’ve asked others for such, also.

I can’t speak for anyone else, but I thought I’d expound on what sort of feedback I find useful on the receiving end. By extension this post also touched on what feedback is not helpful, which, ahmm, is the opposite of what is. All right, this last sentence could be revised. 

Feedback isn’t helpful unless it is specific.

Example: “Where aunt Edna doesn’t care for the soup little Pooky made, you could make it a lot funnier. Aunt Edna could be trying to not show her distaste by contorting her face in order to swallow that swill, while Pooky lists the ingredients.”

{Not helpful: “The story could be funnier.”}

Example #2: “Use evocative and active verbs, such as a play on “soup.” Think spit, swallow, swerve, spin, stir, slam, slide, strike.”

{Not helpful: “Use varied verbs.”}

Example #3: “The part where Pooky is thinking about how good her soup will turn out to be could be cut. One sentence showing her doing the Soup Sashay says it, and more visually.”

{Not helpful: “Some parts can be cut.”}

 I think you get the idea. Specific, even including suggestions, is helpful. The writer doesn’t have to accept the specific suggestions, but it is clearer as to what/where/why/when help is needed. As to the who, that’s a given.

PROOFREADING ISN’T FOR THE TIMID

“There were grammatical errors even in his silence.”

Stanislaw Lec

I’m on record that the hardest of all the technical aspects of writing, for me, is finding and discarding typos.

It isn’t a matter of poor typing (no court stenographer, I) or missing le mot juste. It is about seeing, or NOT seeing, to be exact.

Here are some helpful hints from wise and experienced people who write. These suggestions apply to proofreading one’s own writing. For some reason proofreading another’s is much easier, and may not necessitate all the techniques below. But for my own writing I find that I need all of them, twice.

·         Enable mechanical spell/grammar check programs, but don’t count on them nor follow slavishly

·         Read out loud, correcting on the spot

·         Change the font and font size, and re-read

·         Put away in the drawer and re-read a few days/weeks later

·         Get a kindly friend to read and correct, specifically one who is a good proofreader

Obviously the last two suggestions can’t be practical for sending quick Emails or posting replies on chat boards. The last one, enlisting another pair of eyes, should only be called upon for the most important writing, as you’ll risk running out of friends.

And here’s the kicker: even after all that^, let go of the idea of perfection. The average number of typos in published books by major publishers is seven per book. Those were read by editors and line editors.

Doing what I can… Good luck.

WHEN IT RAINS…

California is coming out of a four-year drought in style.

 Raindrops are falling on my head

And just like the guy whose feet
Are too big for his bed
Nothing seems to fit
Those raindrops
Are falling on my head
They keep falling.

©Mack David 1969

 I look out my window at the kinetic water drops dancing on our deck. Then I follow my cats’ contemplative gaze onto the glistening green hills in the distance. I look at my kitties again, and wonder what they see.

 They may be wondering when I will open the cat door and let them wander out. Conversely, they may be wondering why some crazy young humans are skipping over puddles across the street, relishing getting wet.

Unlike us, I have no evidence my felines are contemplating how only a few months ago everything was bone dry, how saturated the ground is now, and what does it, if anything, say about what will be.

Also unlike us, I doubt they see the end of the draught as a metaphor for life. I’m thinking how it is about time my writing life could use a welcome downpour. Offers to publish, inspiration for writing something in a way that’s never been conceived of before, new readers.

 Could happen.

The gates of heaven opened to bless us mortals with rain. I’m witnessing now. Come; let’s go sing in the rain.

 

Follow and Unfollow, Friend and Unfriend…

A short time ago I spent a bit of time navigating the process of unfollowing some of the blogs on my Blogger Reader’s List dashboard. In the spirit of new beginning, it was clean-up time.

 A few were blogs that have been sprouting copious posts to the point where I could no longer find any other blogs when I checked the list. These bloggers, who chose the take-over-by-blitz-blogging, had an interest for me at one point, and I admire their owners’ dedication. But, like everything else in life, moderation is key to health and wisdom in my life and you ain’t getting’ me with a flood, darlings. You got to leave room for others now and again.

But most of my unfollows were blogs that had gone dormant, and have stayed thus for what I realized are not weeks or months, but years. I have kept them on because I loved those blogs. They didn’t bother anyone.

They were there not only so I can click and re-read old posts, but also just in case they woke up.

 I wanted to be there if they did, and welcome them back with a hug and a kiss.

But when they stayed quiet for ions, I eventually had to conclude these blogs were not sleeping. They were dead. Not their owners, I don’t think, but the blogs. Seeing them on the side of my dashboard used to make me feel good, but then it got sad, and sadder. It’s not that there was no point— it was depressing.

 I have yet to unfriend anyone on Facebook, and unfollowing was a new experience for me.

Let me tell you, unfollowing each of these dead-blogs was painful. It was a death all in itself, sort of.

Who said housecleaning is easy?

On the happy side, I have more room thanks to saying goodbye to the prolific sprouters, and more clarity on the side dashboard to check the others. And you know what? I can now ADD new ones.

Onwards!

How Do You Say ~~~ Happy New Year?

~~~I say it like this~~~

HAPPY

Contentedly

Joyful

NEW YEAR!

BEST GIFTS I EVER GOT

Whether you are a Christian or not, it is impossible to ignore 
the frantic gift-giving/receiving/contemplating/hunting/gathering/chasing that sweeps the land at this time.

And would you want to? I do my version of it and enjoy every bit. 
Giftation, or Giftatis, take your pick. It’s in the air, and I’m not holding my breath. I’m taking it in.

But I got to thinking what makes a gift really great. For me, it turns out to be the same whether on the giving or receiving end of it. It has to do with purpose and thought. If something I do involves concentrating on the person and their needs, it is fulfilling. If I sense the same in something I’m given, it is rewarding.

Generic does nothing for me.

We say, “it’s the thought that counts,” and mean the gift was a dud, but at least the giver thought about us. I think this saying is a dud.

A good gift conveys the thought was directed and specific. I can feel the joy that went into it, and this joy is akin to the joy I have experienced giving in the same way.

A long time ago, in what could have been a galaxy far away, a little boy who knew I had always wished I had an older brother growing up, made me an older bother. He made my older brother by drawing him, almost life size, and giving him a birthday, (three years older than me) and a face. His name is “Mirka’s Older Brother,” and he hangs inside my closet and greets me every day to start my day right.

It didn’t cost; it was all thought. That little boy was my son, way back in kindergarten.

His little sister, not yet four at the time, taught herself to draw what she knew was my favorite animal. She practiced feverishly on hundreds of pieces of paper until she felt she had it. 

She gave mom a pet no one else had.

Suggestions are NOT Commandments

Or-

Writers and Artists—Burn those “shoulds”

I was having a most rewarding talk with a multi-published and lauded writer, and we found that, from my modest perch and his lofty one, we came to see many of the writerly edicts as, at best, helpful suggestions. Unfortunately some of these suggestions are taught as indispensable commadments in creative writing classes, and repeated in interviews by respected creatives.

Here is a summary of a few of these suggestions, with a suggestion from me that if something is helpful to you, keep and cherish it. But please, PLEASE— don’t parcel it out as a commandment. We already have ten official ones, and many more unofficial ones, taught at our parents’ knees.

1. WRITE EVERY DAY. It is helpful for many, but in no way a measure of dedication or a predictor of good work.

2. READ A LOT OF SIMILAR BOOKS TO THE GENRE YOU ARE WRITING. I do the opposite, especially while working on a first draft. I don’t want “voice seepage” or derivative plotting. But some find that reading a lot of similar books revved their engines. Either is fine.

3. NEVER GIVE UP. You’re welcome to give up. Many times. As often as you need to.

4. NEVER ASSUME YOUR WORK WILL BE THE EXCEPTION THAT ALLOWS YOU TO BREAK “THE RULES.” This is true, and I don’t suggest anyone be presumptive of anything. But if we didn’t have rule-benders we would never break new ground, either.

5. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF AND YOUR WORK. That sounds nice and it is empowering. But I believe in something bigger, and pray that I do the best work I can. Sometimes it isn’t all that, y’know. If you believe in yourself that’s all right also.

6. IGNORE THIS BLOG POST AND OTHER CURMUDGEONLY ONE LIKE IT. This, I’m afraid, I wholeheartedly agree with. Be your own boss.

Tree Longings? Not me ~

First Hanukkah without kiddos, and their first without a menorah. Living away from home in Christmas land, the memories of Hanukkahs past but faint echoes somewhere in their hearts, I wonder if, despite the way I raised them, this sentiment may have been part of their ethos—

Not me. For me, Christmas lights, trees and carols are for the outside. Lovely, but other.

Home, on the other hand, is all Hanukkah. Lovely, and ours.

This year it’s just us—

HAPPY HOLIDAY

The existential foolishness

…of this blog 

Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise

Proverbs 17:28

Herein lies the vanity and senselessness of blogging. But I’m not so proud as to avoid being a fool. Another way of saying, I put myself out there about this and that and the price is the appearance of self-preoccupation and the delusion of self-importance.

No wonder my more tasteful friends in real life turn their noses at blogging.

I certainly don’t do it to promote a product, (blogging of the personal sort rarely works for that) or to gain followers and climb some popularity ladder…

(Evident, I think)

… Personal blogs everywhere have been on a waning trajectory.

I do it because I like to. I like each and every one of you who read it, and I love when you chime in.

We’re all fools. Let’s frolic in our folly together. Winter is coming, and it can be dark and lonely out there, in the land of the seriously wise.

Social Media Faux-pas

I will assume that anyone commenting on a followed blog, or a Facebook page, or a tweet, means well. Almost all do. And let me tell you, sending thoughts out there and not getting comments is a very lonely thing. So they are not only welcome but wanted and appreciated.

But there are the well-meaning ones that manage to be remarkably unhelpful. Remarkable because they mean well. I’m not referring to the few that do not mean well, the trolls, or the ones coming out of folks who just got bad news and think misery loves company is a social commandment.

I have been the unlucky recipient of two of the examples below. But most come from others, friends and acquaintances, who either shared their pain with me or I was there to witness it. Even as they said nothing in retort, it was painfully obvious this was a backhanded compliment.

Examples:

“You never age!”

“You’re a miracle of preservation”

“How do you manage to stay so young looking?”

Nice, but what they really say, and in a public forum, (like commenting on new Facebook profile picture) is that you are in fact old. Thanks.

“Nice haircut. When will you grow your hair back?”

“I love what you did with your hair. I’ll send you my stylist’s number. You’ll love her.”

“Looks great. Is it Nice and Easy?”

Lovely, but what they really say is that your hair has suffered a misfortune in incompetent hands.

“I loved, just loved, your other book. When will you write another one like that one?”

“I got your book a year ago!” (No other comment. Yup, that’s it.)

“Your book is good for people interested in the subject.”

Sounds positive, but what they are really saying is they can’t recommend it, and need to post a public warning to that effect.

And then there are these doozies. If you’ve ever been in the vicinity of such utterances, you could feel the silent hissing:

“You look wonderful! Are you pregnant?” (Never a good idea to say this, especially to a man.)

“We’ve got to have you over. Maybe next May when our garden is blooming.” (Said in early June.)

“It’s nice that you write for children. Have you thought of writing a book for real people?”

This last one is one of only two that I actually received myself, and from my father. Ouch. Not telling which of the others was also given to me.

Okay, good people. Let’s not do any of that.