Tuesday, September 9, 2025

VERSIONS of the GOLDEN RULE

 

When faced with a seemingly unresolvable ethical dilemma, I resort to The Golden Rule.

 

Most know the New Testament version:

"So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you".

(Matthew 7:12 and Luke 6:31)

 

But there is another version, as worded by Rabbi Hillel in the Talmud:

“What is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow.”

 

As the Talmudic story goes, A non-Jew approached Hillel, asking to be taught the entire Torah while standing on one foot. Hillel responded with the Golden Rule, and added, “the rest is commentary. Now go study.”

 

Between these two versions, I prefer Hillel’s. There are many things I would like “done to me” that others wouldn’t like done to them. People are different that way, and vive la diffĂ©rence. I find I prefer the approach through negation. It comes closer to respecting others.

 

But even here, there are those things you would hate that others don’t. In other words, the Golden Rule is still golden, but the duty to use discernment is never discharged.

I was faced with such a dilemma only the other day. The Golden Rule helped me take the harder route. Did I choose right? I can’t make this claim. But I stand by the way I went about trying.



Tuesday, September 2, 2025

INSTEAD OF TRYING HARDER…

 

…TRY SOFTER

 

I’ve been contemplating this bit of advice, seemingly more a play on an idiom than wise, when out of the cloudy sky it came to me.

 

Trying softer. Yes, that.

 

After a mistake or mishap, maybe instead of doubling down, consider gentleness on the next move. Consider a redo more carefully planned.

 

After getting a NO, consider letting it sink, but slowly, instead of throwing an inner tantrum. Then, proceed with caution and consideration of what just happened.

 

After getting stonewalled, instead of bashing my head against the wall— consider resting next to the wall and catching my breath.

Gentleness with self diffuses into gentleness with others and a wind that transforms into a soft breeze.

 

{A soft hug}

©Art by Maya Golek Apter. Dreaming dog is Brandi Apter