The other day I realized my bucket-list is just about empty.
{Clarification: I count only the things I can significantly affect,
not wishes like winning the lottery, publishing with a big-five house, or
becoming the queen of England. I suppose I could take steps to make any of the
above improbably possible, but my list had only the things I could do if I
chose to do them.}
The few things that were left on my bucket-list just leaked
out or evaporated, as in an open bucket left in the sun for days. A few I had
actually accomplished, at least to my own satisfaction even if no one else
knows it.
Among the wishes that turned to vapor were—
*Standing in Moscow’s Red Square as snow is falling
in January. Think Doctor Zhivago.
{Somehow the romance of it has gone away, and
I hear it is much nicer in summer, anyhow.}
*Staying at a five-star hotel or an English country
estate for a week with nothing to do except have breakfast in bed and stroll by the river before afternoon high tea.
{The budget isn’t there for this, but neither is the charm. I’d rather watch Masterpiece Theatre with others doing it.}
{The budget isn’t there for this, but neither is the charm. I’d rather watch Masterpiece Theatre with others doing it.}
*Spending a month in Kyoto, Japan, taking in the
traditional aesthetic.
{Something of this remains in me, but it’s barely a whiff of a longing and I recognize it as wishing inner balance and peace, not a physical space.}
{Something of this remains in me, but it’s barely a whiff of a longing and I recognize it as wishing inner balance and peace, not a physical space.}
And so on.
Bit by bit my bucket has emptied. I don’t know if this is a
good thing, or an ominous sign of folding it in.
Oh, and I did want to write a truly great novel. I’ve done that, and my agent is shopping it. So far no
takers, but for myself that one got checked off: done.
Do you have a bucket-list? How have you gone about emptying
it?
Not a bucket list. But I do still have some goals/desires/hopes. The big ones are spiritual. I have so much growing to do in that area. I also have some hopes about personal relationships. I would still like to see New Zealand, but I've seen lots of other special places, so if that doesn't happen, I won't feel I've lost out.
ReplyDeleteNew Zealand is a very concrete place. I vote for your going there next...
DeleteInteresting that your bucket list is emptying. I'd say it's a good thing because you have found contentment.
ReplyDeleteI suppose I have many things I still want to do but I live in the shadow of death so I don't really think about those other things, like taking a trip to India with my family, or a pilgrimage to Fatima, Lourdes, Rome. I've been delighted to be able to go on smaller pilgrimages closer to home. I suppose I'm pretty content with my life.
You've just reminded me that I need to send a copy of my latest polished revision to a good friend--she is to publish it if I croak.
"Croak" and "kick the bucket" are euphemisms for dying, taken directly from farm life. ;)
DeleteI don't have an actual bucket list but I think I will borrow yours. Except for Moscow in winter, they all sound delightful. I do want to go to Russia but not in the winter.
ReplyDeleteLet's go in summer, then :D
DeleteI don't have a bucket list, but I have goals and wishes. My big one is to wander all over England and then maybe head to France. I don't think I'll ever have the money.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
Maybe start with replacing "all over England" with an itinerary? Doable :)
DeleteNot enough the flight is doable at this point.
DeleteI've always wanted to go to London, and to be honest, I'm not even sure why.
ReplyDeleteI tend to dream more than add to my bucket list. I dream of adding USA Today or NYT bestseller to my name.
Bet you will, Kelly.
DeleteWhen I was three I absolutely did want to be the queen of England! She had nice jewellery, everyone applauded her, and she was on tv. (No one had the heart to tell me that it wasn't likely to happen.)
ReplyDeleteAnother wish that I don't want anymore is to act in a Shakespearean play at the Festival Theatre in Stratford, Ontario.
Anglophile minds think alike...
DeleteInteresting how bucket lists change over the years. I guess my list would be mostly travel destinations (with family in tow!). You're right about how some places are more enjoyable watched from afar than to actually partake in or visit. For example I think the pyramids would be amazing to see but I'd probably rather watch a movie about them than to actually go in person.
ReplyDeleteWhen Israelis could finally go to visit Egypt after peace accords were signed, my mother went to see the pyramids and told me they are far more impressive than any photograph could convey. But your point is one I really get, as reality and what we are really yearning for are on two different planes.
DeleteInteresting, as always. Like Vijaya's comment about contentment. #1 on my list would be living closer to my kids; #2 these days is to add illustrator to jobs I've done. Working hard on #2, always hopeful for #1. And I've always wanted to live in France for an extended time.
ReplyDelete#1 and #2 are so doable, and #3, while requiring planning and intentionality, is not off the charts... Go, Jan!
Delete