Re-reading
this post, I
thought how hard it is to know, really know, which advise to follow when one
opinionator differs from the other.
This
is a perennial problem. It’s felt keenly when the less experienced ask for guidance
from the more experienced. This is a universal dilemma which we encounter in
every field and every matter.
Gone
are the days when “father knew best” and adults were authorities on every issue
under the sun. Besides, having grown up and now being one of those adults, means the final judgement is ours, and we own it.
The
world of knowledge is complex, so we turn to experts. But, oh my, the experts
don’t agree. Even if “most” (by whose measure?) say one thing, who’s to say the
minority isn’t more correct? It’s happened before, countless times.
Here’s
where I stand: I ask. I listen. I let feedback and information rest for a time
and settle. Then I do what feels right to me.
Because,
like the
referenced post says, it often comes down to taste and sensibilities. We
have to live with ours.
I think that's why "let it sit" is so important. Whether it's about your book or a new idea, sometimes your initial reaction isn't the best one. Once you let an idea ferment, that's when you can see it differently.
ReplyDeleteNice. I'm working with a new-to-me editor for my upcoming non-fiction biography about a Canadian artist, and it's interesting to see our differences of opinion. But since I've been working on this project for YEARS, I realize she doesn't know the subject as well as I do. She's had some great suggestions for tweaks so far. Like you, I usually go with my gut most of the time.
ReplyDeleteI listen to those who have the best intentions for me, who love me. Their advice is golden. But yes, in the writing life, all advice isn't equal. One needs to judge with both the heart and mind what will best serve the story.
ReplyDeleteSometimes, in a panic, we listen to what someone else suggests, but your strategy is the best: let things settle and then listen to your gut.
ReplyDeleteMy first reactions to emotionally-charged encounters, such as getting a negative critique or review, are nearly always wrong. But with a simple thank you for your input and then further thought, I will often find merit in the criticism. Sometimes though, a negative, critical person is just that, negative and critical, and it's best to say nothing and move on past.
ReplyDeleteAsk, listen, let it sit. Good advice!
ReplyDeleteYes, your advice to let it sit and then trust your inner self is wise. And I also pray for guidance about important matters.
ReplyDeleteI just had an example of this at an open mic where we got feedback on 3x5 cards. The agent said "too many adjectives and descriptors." Another person commented, "you have room to flesh this out." ha ha
ReplyDeleteIt's a mg novel. I took the agent's advice because I could see where I'd overcomplicated.