Years ago, at a particularly difficult moment in her
life, my wise stepmother told me she chose not to fall into depression, and
chose to be happy. “It is a choice,”
she repeated. It took me years and some hard choices of my own to understand
what she meant. Did I mention already she was wise?
I think about the happiness I know, and have come to
realize that it has to do with being at the moment and counting one’s
blessings. Cliché? Well, maybe it is, and for a reason.
An empty-nester has a lot of time to think about
things. Time occupied by meeting the needs of others is suddenly vacated, leaving
patches of spaces that, before they’ll be filled by new demands, just hover
there.
I choose to think about happiness as moments of grace.
Not the big ones, the expected joyous milestones, but little gifts that remind
us we love and are loved in return.
Like-
Meeting a friend I have only known virtually, who took
the trouble to drive many hours just so we can spend an afternoon-
Having a relative offer to drive down to help DD’s
transition to college. Every bit helps-
And this, right now, this very moment-
Hugs to you, dear friend. I really like your "I choose to think about happiness as moments of grace."
ReplyDeleteAw! I'm looking at the picture and thinking, Ev, Ev! How lovely. And your two kitties are so adorable. Your wise MIL is right. Happiness is a choice. It is also a habit.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could give you a big ole hug too!
But you are, Vijaya. Right here.
DeleteYou really do have to find things to be happy about. They're there if you look. :)
ReplyDeleteIt is definitely the little things--and many of us have the choice to be positive or negative. Positive is always best!
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with your mother. The problem is that we aren't used to see happiness around us,but there is always something to be happy for.
ReplyDeleteThe kitties are too cute. I have all my kids in elementary school now and I have to say, I feel a bit lost. I have to reinvent myself at every stage and that's not always easy. Thanks for that hopeful reminder.
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy you and Ev could meet! Yes, rejoice in the happy moments!
ReplyDeleteYou have once again written *exactly* what I needed to read this morning. This is so very beautiful and true, Mirka. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteMirka, I missed your blog while I was on break. It really helps to cultivate appreciation and gratitude.
ReplyDeleteMakes me happy to be appreciated :D
DeleteIt's wonderful to be able to find the happiness in life. I'm glad you didn't have to look too far to find some of your own. We could all do with little perspective to think on the good instead of the negative.
ReplyDeleteYet there are those who can't find the happiness no matter how hard they try or for whom the happiness is just not enough to take away the darkness. Too many of us in the creative fields suffer from this and I think it's worth noting that it's not always a matter of finding the happiness.
You have such a great attitude, I know your choices will get you all the way through the empty nest syndrome.
ReplyDeleteIt really is a choice. Sometimes we get clouded by the other stuff and forget this. Glad you've had a happy time with your friends!
ReplyDeleteAs someone who's struggled with depression in the past, I know it can be hard to think of happiness as a choice, but I think you're right that part of pulling out of it is choosing what kind of attitude you're going to have.
ReplyDelete