Whoever came up with the above relationship advice knew of
what they speak.
On the face of it, it doesn’t sound right. In real life it
is just about spot on.
I noticed long ago that when asking for a favor, something I
never found easy to do, others are full of helpful advice. But few of the
advisers are there to be of practical help. Something about being asked for a
favor causes a defensive/protective wall to be erected in the persons asked.
I had a friend who always asked for advice. Being asked for
advice is flattering. Someone you care about values your thinking. This sets
you into an expansive state. Now you don’t only want to offer your thinking on
their issue, you want to be part of the solution. Being part of the solution on
a practical level becomes your reward.
I was always right there, ready to do and be if that friend took
my advice. I have to be honest and admit that said friend, when they asked for
a favor, didn’t always get the best help from me. This is one of the ways I know
the title of this post holds a truth.
Of course, I’ve been fortunate to have people in my life who
follow their advice with practical help. The years have taught me they are not
the rule but the exception. This makes them stand out as exceptional, and you
know who you are.
©Anastasia Ames
When it is appropriate, I offer advice, but often someone just wants to be listened to without problem-solving. My husband learned to take off his Mr. Fixer hat unless I specifically asked for his help.
ReplyDeleteMy husband insists that men need to fix and women need to be heard. Somewhere in the middle, taking from both ends, lies a complete personal helper
ReplyDeleteSo true, Mirka. I was crying recently about yet another serious injury (on vacation, no less) and I know only time will fix it, but it's the ladies who gave me a shoulder and an ear, which I needed.
ReplyDeleteI heard something fascinating years ago: If you want someone to like you, get them to do you a favor. You'd think the advice would be to do THEM a favor. But when I think about it, it seems we do develop warmer feelings toward people when we help them.
ReplyDeleteI found all 4 of these comments very interesting.
ReplyDeleteInteresting about advice and favors. I have a hard time asking people to help me, but it has become a necessity and my neighbors are kind to me. I'm having difficulty keeping up with blogs. My reading list still doesn't update.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie