YOU DON’T NEED TO TELL EVERYONE EVERYTHING

 Or—

YES, THERE IS SUCH A THING AS OVERSHARING

 

I had a friend who, in conversations with near strangers in the space of one minute, would sashay into personal intimate details of her life, which included details of her marital life that would have made her husband cringe.

 

It was endearing in one way. Boy, she really trusts me with this very personal information, you might think.

In another way, it was downright baffling, as in what is she talking about? This was in no way part of our conversation, you may be thinking next.

 

The faux intimacy turned out to be exactly that. It was a way to try and induce similar intimate details from others. I eventually caught on.

 

Not that she got that out of me. I choose how much to tell based on my own sense, and my sense was that it was not right. But I value all people and valued this friend for a hundred and one reasons even as I kept cringing inwardly when I witnessed her act.

 

This goes double in writing. Anything you share about your life should be the truth (or your truth as best you know it) but never the whole truth because some self-protection (not to mention tact and a sense of propriety) should always be part of the picture.

 

In an age where our leaders have lost some of that sense and “breaking norms” is viewed as a badge of honor by some, it is even more important to remember that norms are for the benefits of all, self and others.

 

THINK.  Think well before you speak or write. Ask yourself if sharing is beneficial on the whole, and only then go forth.

Wise living, it turns out, includes silence. If you must speak of unspeakables, talk to your cat.