One of my foundational values is getting along with people.
It’s not much of an obstacle when others think like me. It’s
only a challenge when we have differences. The deeper these are, the steeper the
mountain to climb.
But that’s when it matters most.
Living as individuals in society presents this challenge
every moment, unless you have made a point to wall off all but the most simpatico
folks. I wasn’t raised to do that because, to both my parents, interacting only with the like-minded makes for
a dull life.
I find that it takes three main values to live fully and
remain close to people who think differently. First, one needs to be flexible.
Second, one needs to be curious about possibilities that hadn’t already occurred,
and third (perhaps the most important) one needs to practice genuine humility.
All will amount to a commitment to be happy, not “right.”
There is a tendency in literature, most obvious in literature for young readers, to not only present conflict between differing points of view but also to end by settling them with one side showing what is ultimately “right.”
Today,
we are told not to be preachy. But we must choose sides in more subtle ways.
The problem is that it doesn’t illuminate how to navigate
differences, unless the stories are about acceptance. Acceptance of one’s personal
situation, of one’s environment, and of what may come. This begins with self-acceptance,
and these are the stories I strive to write.
It’s not “a win,” but it’s about the triumph of seeing conflict
as something not to win, but to diffuse.
Excellent post, Mirka. And I think you do a really good job of following those values in your stories.
ReplyDeleteSo true that living in peace with others who don't share the same values requires a great deal of humility, curiosity, and tolerance. But it is difficult when your values are diametrically opposed, no?
ReplyDeleteYes, it is of utmost importance that we get along with each other, but let’s not forget that some things are definitely wrong and others are truly right.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if any fiction has been written (that's become well-known) in which characters who are opposed to the current administration learn to deal with characters who support that administration. It's a very sticky situation and could make for good reading material. Families have been torn apart by politics.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
Great points. I think humility is the most important when conversing with people who are different than you. I feel this is also important in writing, especially about other times. We may be able to see all the failures of history, but we have to realize we have blindspots as modern people too.
ReplyDelete